The Nostalgist

It is a vicious cycle. Stuck in a place and time that she will never truly belong to.

 

Nostalgia: "a sentimental or wistful affection for a period in the past." The word is not becoming enough. It is almost belittling to the feeling.

 

An old soul is what one would describe her as. For as long as she can remember, this is how she has been known. The girl, who is on a perpetual journey for something that has already happened. The endearing yet hopeless desire to live another life. Things created before her time are her catharsis. Understanding these feelings of belonging to another place and time is all-consuming. And yet there is nothing she can do.

 

The angels must have got it wrong. She is not meant to be here. She belongs to before. How can you fulfill a life that does not belong to you? She is a pastiche, the muse of another time, another place. Send her there, bags packed. Ready and waiting.

 

Is it a case of misunderstanding? It could be. Perhaps.

 

There is a fire inside, a burning desire to get out. To live another life, a life so far from her own. It calls, and it beckons. Her entire being craves it.

 

The journey begins within. A desire so bright, it could light a thousand candles.

 

Her destination is the end of a rainbow. So close, yet so far away. The closer she gets, the further away it becomes. Because you can not live in the past.

 

“To live in the past is to die in the present.” These are the thoughts that plague her mind. I am her. I was born when and yet my heart is stuck then.